abi Possibilities

What do you see when you look at others?

Do you see who they...

• ...want you to see?
• ...seem to be now?
• ...used to be?
• ...wish they were?
• ...are trying to be?
• ...could be?

I think this is one of the most important questions we need to ask ourselves when we work in a community intended to support others.

Because how we see others impacts us by influencing our vision of whom we are surrounded by. Seeing others as they used to be, for example, stops you from learning to respond to them differently -- it blocks your own ability to change.

And how we see others also impacts them -- very directly. Using the same example, if you see me as I used to be, you actually deny my ability to change and you likely will even decrease my motivation to try to change further -- at least with you.

So -- how we see others is a huge part of how we see our own world AND a huge part of creating other's worlds. Talk about being all connected!

But I wanted to share an article I came across that talked about Susan Boyle as a Lesson for employers who don't see the talent and possibilities in their employees.

Here are some of the thoughts they shared (I've added the bolding):

"In case you've missed it: she's a 47-year-old unemployed charity worker who lives with her cat in a small village in Scotland. As soon as she walked on stage the audience began to snicker and roll their eyes. Simon Cowell, the show's host, asked her some pre-performance questions in his famously condescending style and, to the audience's enjoyment, she answered awkwardly.

She was painfully ordinary and everyone was prepared, looking forward even, to see her fail.

<snip>

We prejudged her by her looks and were fooled. We experienced the full gamut of emotions in a few short moments: guilt, shame, vindication, hope. She's a modern Cinderella and these days it's a wonderful distraction and inspiration to witness the triumph of the human spirit.

But there's something else Susan Boyle awakens in us as we watch her come out of her shell. Our own selves. Who among us doesn't move through life with the hidden sense, maybe even quiet desperation, that we are destined for more? That underneath our ordinary exterior lies an extraordinary talent? That given the right opportunity, the right stage, the right audience, we could shine as the stars we truly are?

We all have that sense to one degree or another. And it's a great opportunity for managers. How we handle that opportunity is what distinguishes the great managers from the merely good ones.

Good managers help their employees succeed in whatever role they happen to be in. Great managers see the unique talents of each employee, and then create the role that's a perfect vehicle for those talents. Great managers remove the obstacles that prevent their employees from unleashing their talent. And they make sure each employee has the right opportunities, the right stage, the right audience, to be fully appreciated.

Read the rest of the article to learn about what they think the critical factors are producing "new stars".

What I want to emphasize here is that, although the lesson of the Susan Boyle's of the world applies to employees and employers, it also applies to every single person we interact with.

It applies to supervisees and to supervisors and to life partners and to our work colleagues and to the people who help us in stores and banks and to bag our groceries.

And perhaps most importantly it applies to people who may not be able to find or even feel that "inner star" of their own life after sustaining a brain injury.

I sincerely believe it is the responsibility of every person who works with someone living with a brain injury to look for person they could be, the person they want to be - even if they can't find the words to share that vision yet.

I'll close with one more quote from the article -- I've replaced "employees" with "relationships":

"Susan Boyle is a phenomenal person to keep in mind as you manage your relationships. In all her awkward ordinariness and amazing extraordinariness. She is talent discovered. Can you uncover the Susan in each one of your relationships? Can you draw her out? Can you support her fully? Put her on the right stage? In front of the right audience? Can you keep her focused on her talent?

If so, then be prepared to be wowed."

Let us prepare to be wowed by those around us.

Have any Wow'ing stories to share? Please do...they're all around us ;-)