What Kind of Pot Are You?
My email today had this little story in it:
The Cracked Pot
-- Author Unknown
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on the end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots was perfectly made and never leaked. The other pot had a crack in it and by the time the water bearer reached his master's house it had leaked much of it's water and was only half full.
For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master's house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you." "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."
Each of us has our own unique flaws. We're all cracked pots. But if we will allow it, God will use our flaws to grace his table. In God's great economy, nothing goes to waste. Don't be afraid of your flaws. Acknowledge them, and you too can be the cause of beauty. Know that in our weakness we find our strength.
In our North American culture, we are repeatedly bombarded by messages that we need to strive for perfection, that we should avoid having (or at least showing) any flaws, that we should be "minimizing our weaknesses".
What kind of message does that give about people with identified "disabilities"?
Yet, as this story is teaching us, it's often our "flaws" that are of the greatest value.
I think of my "other life", providing neurofeedback services. One of the things I can help is migraines, which I also get. Yet that is one of the reasons people seem to be attracted to come to me for help -- they know I really do understand what migraines painis all about and trust me that, as a migraineur myself, I wouldn't try to "sell" them on something that doesn't actually work.
Or, in my own work with people having brain injury, I find some of my best suggestions for solutions to challenges have come from reflecting on how I myself have to deal with that same kind of problem. I wouldn't find those ideas if I were busy denying that I too have memory glitches, get disorganized, can be overwhelmed by Too Much Information, have a tendency to say Things I Shouldn't, etc., etc.
I've learned over the years that by acknowledging my apparent weaknesses, I can convert these into gifts -- for myself or to be shared with others.
How about you? What "weaknesses" have you been able to see as strengths? Or what "weakness" might you like some ideas for to help you re-see it as a gift? Do you know someone who has converted a "weakness" into a gift? Inspire us and share!
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Reader Comments (3)
Well how synchronistic that a story on weaknesses to strengths is about a leaky pot, which I will come back to shortly.
My first weakness I’m hoping to turn into a strength is actually writing. I cringe at the English essays I had to write, and have judged, back in high school as I scraped by with barely passing grades in the subject. So I’m jumping into it by posting my comment to this article.
Now back to the leaky pot and the real reason for responding. I grew up in an era and family where “Boys don’t cry” was an upheld motto to live by. And if boys don’t cry, then it was taboo for the men in my life to show their emotions.
So as a sensitive male kid and adolescent I really struggled with my vulnerability, and thus my identity. I grew up trying to be tough, which I’m not. I grew up withholding my voice, my opinions, my frustrations, my pain. I grew up learning to be sarcastic which was a mask to make me feel better about myself by making others feel bad about themselves. I grew up unknowingly having to hide the true me.
So ten years ago I met The Story Coach, an inspiring man who helped me clarify and align my story. I myself became a life coach, entering a community where not only was emotional expression accepted, it’s actually a foundational component of a coaching relationship. It’s been a ten year emotional roller coaster ride as I’ve healed old wounds, reclaimed my sensitivity, and found people and communities that value vulnerability and the gift that it brings.
For, like the cracked pot, I too had to be cracked open and allow my tears to start nourishing the world. First through my own healing, and from there creating save space for others to find their crack, their strength, which may have been hidden away under the fear of it being a weakness.
So thanks little pot for the reminder of the growth and beauty that comes to the world through vulnerability and tears.
And I would be remiss if I did not pay tribute to the men of that generation and time who were a factor in my life. Through their efforts and toughness, I have not had to fight in a war, or immigrate from a war torn country, or grow up in a country whose language was different from my native tongue. Although we have not communicated well, if at all, I don’t dare judge you. I applaud you with my tears that you have provided me with the freedom to experience and explore the difference between vulnerability as a weakness and as a strength as it applies to me.
And here in lies the strength of writing, for until this moment I did not truly appreciate the sacrifice and thus the sacredness the men in my life had made. I’m truly humbled by their gift.
Scott Barta, CPCC
Lead Passion Architect
abi Possibilities
As we work together to get through to the other side (whatever that may be) we need to be understanding and aware of each other’s cracks, and do our best to not make them deeper, as we possibly already tend to that on our own. But rather support each other to mend the crack and flourish in an environment that allows for us to discover, and repair (definition below) our cracks. From there we collectively grow into a garden of fully bloomed flowers, all full of beauty and not a single one the same as the other.
When we work together to help each other become aware of not only the cracks but the growth and potential that comes from them we will achieve every goal we strive for. In this we will become aware that the support offered is also the support given, for we all are trying to achieve something at any given time. As we all are working towards the same outcome, created and expressed differently, but none the less, the same result.
True growth is not measured by the quantity of what is achieved, but by the quality in how we achieve it and how we view the accomplishments we have surpassed (the patchwork). When we are able to see what we have done for ourselves we are then able to fully see the empowerment we are able to give to others. Understanding the importance of interdependence is a large role in this process, as we all embody a quality that others my need help in recognizing and when we can pass it along we start the infusing process of personality and soul.
*I should clarify that for myself; repair means to me an acceptance of the crack, the life that grew from it and that without it the pot would be a plain pot with lusterless growth. I feel that no matter how much work goes into the pot the pot will always have a repair, the ones that I view as its character. So I guess repairing means not what needs to fixed, but what needs to be enhanced for the true beauty can be expressed.
Jennifer:
I'm so glad you clarified there at the end what was in your mind about what it means to "repair" the crack.
When I started reading, I was understanding "mend the crack" and "repair" as meaning that we could/should try to prevent any more "leaking" - that we should be coming together with others to be "whole" = no more cracks.
But I was delighted to see your thoughts about what it means to "repair" -- an enhancing of the crack to make it not only what's special about us,but even more -- something actually valued about us. And valued not just by others who might see its "usefulness", but valued by ourselves by "enhancing" it.
One of my own "cracks" is my inability to settle on any one thing. Just recently I realized that this is also what I can (and do!) contribute to others -- my tendency to collect ideas and information and to try to connect people to ideas or ideas to ideas etc. etc.
Maybe this is another interesting question to pose to our readers:
What's your crack? How have you embellished it and nourished it to become something of value to you and others?
Thanks Jennifer!